


Don't Pray (No One's Listening)

by iremi678



Category: Naruto
Genre: Smart Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2020-10-19 15:40:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20659607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iremi678/pseuds/iremi678
Summary: No one ever noticed. Not the kind old Jiji who would sometimes visit. Or the folks at the ramen place. No one cared enough about him to noticed that he died. That he’s died so, so many times that he’s honestly lost count at this point.





	1. Chapter 1

Naruto

It took a while to realize what was happening to me. I couldn’t tell you when it started. Maybe it was in the orphanage when I would often find myself bedridden with fevers, vomiting and hallucinations, only to wake up hours later completely fine. A stomach bug the matron would say. Poison, I realize now. Or maybe it was the time I got cornered by a drunk and woke up again completely fine even though I can clearly remember the feel of my head hitting the pavement and the world going black. It was easy to ignore the blood, the rips in my clothing. It’s not like there was any injury on me that it could have come from. And with how clumsy I am, I rip my clothing all the time.

It wasn’t until I was chased down by a shinobi one night that it all became terrifyingly real. There was no drunken kicks or punches like usual. Just a cold calculated slice to my neck with a kunai. I collapse to the ground drowning in my own blood, the warmth leaving me with only a bitter cold in its place. I’m dying I realize_. It hurts, it’s unbearable. Please_, I beg someone, anyone, _if dying could fix this. If dying could make this stop, then please, please_ let me die.

My vision starts to blur at the edges, gradually fading to black. I feel my heart gives one last stuttering beat and then stop. And with my last breath, I let go.

After what seems like forever, but was in reality only a short time later, I open my eyes again. Staring blankly at the clear night sky. There’s no denying it this time.

‘I died.’ I whisper to myself, the blood slick on my fingers across my now intact throat. I can hear other people milling around nearby. And that’s what probably hurt the most. No one even noticed. No one helped me when I was bleeding out in an alleyway.

No one ever noticed. Not the kind old Jiji who would sometimes visit. Or the folks at the ramen place. No one cared enough about him to noticed that he died. That he’s died so, so many times that he’s honestly lost count at this point.

The ever-present smile on my face fades and is replaced by a frown. Tears silently flowing down my cheeks making tracts in the partially dried blood. At 8 I realized the hardest thing I could ever do, was live.

* * *

It was always the same after that. Like a vicious cycle. They’d chase me, I’d run, they catch me and beat me till I eventually die. Then I’d wake up alone in some ally. The only reminder of what happened last night was my blood-soaked clothes and ground. Nothing ever changed.

Still, no one noticed, and slowly I began to lose my faith in people. The rare few who acted so kind and caring to me. Jiji would come visit me every now and then. And Teuchi and Ayame gave me free ramen occasionally. I’m thankful for that, I really am. But somewhere, deep down, I was hoping that someone cared enough to notice, to save me. But they didn’t.

I came to realize that no one cared. That I would die night after night cold and alone and wake up the next day with no one the wiser. No one cared. So, I stopped. I stopped running, stopped fighting, stopped caring. It just doesn’t matter anymore. If no one cared, why should I?

One day, when Jiji came to visit he asked if I would like to go to the Academy to become a Shinobi. It wasn’t really a choice. When I seemed to hesitate, he started to go on about all the good things about becoming one. How I would be strong, respected. How I would be able to protect the people I care about.

He talked to me like I was ignorant to the reality. Like shinobi didn’t hunt me down in the middle of the night and kill me. Like I had any one I cared about, that I wanted to protect. But I agree. There’s no choice, and its not like care either way, so what’s the point of arguing? He smiles at me. But its strained, it has been the last few times he has visited.

_ Ah,_ I suddenly realize_. It’s getting harder for him to pretend he cares about me_. Even if he doesn’t care I’ll at least keep appearances. So, a wide shit eating grin spreads across my face, no matter how wrong it feels there.

“Don’t worry Jiji! I’ll definitely do good in the Academy, just you wait, I’ll be the strongest!” I exclaim.

“Oh, is that so?” He smiles. “Well I’m looking forward to it. I need to get back to work now. Classes start in 2 weeks, so I’ll try to get your materials by tomorrow”

“Ok Jiji, see you tomorrow!” I wave as he leaves my apartment, my smile slipping from my face as the door closes. My hand drops to my side and I just blankly stare at the door for a moment. It’s getting harder for me too. Now that I think about it. To keep up this charade. But just like everything else in my life, I don’t have a choice.

I have to wonder. Did I ever?

* * *

Starting the academy as expected, changed nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true. The adults are the same as always. The kids though, in some ways they are worse. They may not be able to hurt me like the grownups can, but their words are cruel. They always hit right where it hurts the most. And I can’t stand it. Before, they were perfectly content to ignore my existence, now with the teachers singling me out they’ve followed their lead.

Dying over and over again. Just to go to class and be told that I’m nothing. That no one cares about me. Like I needed them to tell me that. Like I didn’t already know that! The anger and frustration just sits there and festers, just barely under control. So, I begin to skip. Not every day, just when it feels like it’s about to overflow, when I’m about to snap. But it’s enough that I’ve been labeled a problem child.

‘Naruto, you need to stop skipping class.’ Jiji looks at me disapprovingly I pout and kick the ground, putting on the act of a scolded child.

‘But Jiji’ I whine. ‘It’s so boring.’ _It’s suffocating me_.

‘It’s important. How are you going to be the strongest if you don’t go to class?’ I don’t answer him. It doesn’t matter what he’s says. It’s not like I even want to be a shinobi, so what if I skip? It’s not like I’ll die. It’s not like I _can_. Jiji’s looks at me with disappointment, but it doesn’t have the same effect as it used to. Back when his attention was everything to me. Before I realized no one cared, that no one was coming to save me.

‘Naruto?’ I refuse to look at him and scratch the front of my neck absentmindedly. It’s become a habit, to remind myself that I’m still alive. That this is real. _That I’m not dead._

‘OK.’ I mumble, still refusing to look at him. ‘I’ll go to class.’

And things just continued on like that. I endured the teachers scorn. My classmate’s careless cruelty. And I would still skip, not nearly as often as I’d like, but it didn’t draw Jiji’s attention again. Slowly, I started to speak less and less until I rarely spoke to anyone beyond answering questions in the fewest words possible. I still spoke to Jiji, but he’s never mentioned it in our brief meetings, so I guess he never noticed that too.

I struggled when chakra was introduced, it just wouldn’t listen to what I wanted it to do. My jutsu suffered for it. I could somehow manage the henge and kamiwari, but bushin… no matter how hard or long I practiced it never turned out right. They always came out half formed and never lasted long.

And in every single graduation exam, that was the one jutsu that was always included. The teachers would smirk when the ask me to preform it. Knowing that I couldn’t. And I’d fail. How many times could I fail before they’d kick me out? _Maybe this time_ I’d hope. Then I’d remember Jiji’s insistence and know that one way or another, I would become a shinobi. It’s just a matter of time.

So once again I’m asked to make a bushin. And once again, I fail. Mizuki-sensei smirks in victory just as I expected. But Iruka-sensei…looks sad? Why would he be sad I failed?

‘I’m sorry Naruto, but I can’t let you pass.’ He tells me regret clear in his voice.

‘Come on Iruka, surely we can make an exception.’ Mizuki-sensei argues. Which doesn’t make sense, he was so happy I fail a second ago. What’s he playing at?

‘No’ Iruka shakes his head, ‘I can’t in good conscious let him pass. I’m sorry Naruto’

Still confused, I just nod and leave the room without a word. I don’t understand. I sit on the swing in front of the academy watching detachedly as parents congratulated their children for passing. Why would Iruka-sensei be sad I failed?

‘Iruka-sensei isn’t trying to be mean.’ I startle at Mizuki’s voice, I hadn’t noticed him come up behind me. ‘He probably sees himself in you and wants the best for you. But If you’d like, I could tell you another way to graduate.’

Ah, so that’s what this is all about, he wants to use me. It’s a trap of course, but I don’t think that Iruka -sensei is in on it though, while he’s never helped me, he was never as mean as the other teachers.

‘OK.’ Is my simple answer. He smiles at me, and there’s something about it that reminds me of the people who kill me night after night.

‘Great! All you have to do is get the forbidden scroll from the Hokage’s office and bring it to the cottage in the forest. I’m sure you’ll do fine!’

I nod and slip off the swing heading home. Now what to do about this? My best bet is to grab the scroll, there might be something in it that will help me lower my death rate. Just because I don’t stay dead doesn’t mean I like dying. This is a great opportunity. I can just pin this whole mess on Mizuki after I’m done.

Late at night I sneak into the office with no issue, the scroll was also easy to find. You’d think that a forbidden scroll would have better security. The only snag I hit in the entire thing is when Jiji caught me right when I was about to jump out the window.

‘Naruto? What are you doing here so late?’

‘Tch, Orike no jutsu!’ I transform into a naked woman and blow a kiss at him. Jiji passes out with blood streaming from his nose. I let go of the transformation and just shake my head. Men are such perverts. I don’t know what I was thinking when I made that jutsu, but I can’t deny its usefulness. I jump out of the window making my way towards the forest before he can recover.

The first jutsu in the scroll is kage bushin. I can’t do a normal clone, but maybe a more advanced version would work? I always suspected that I just had too much chakra to make the normal one work, but this one might be perfect for me. It takes a couple tries, but I finally get it down.

‘This is so weird.’ I mumble to myself, while observing my clone.

‘Yea.’ They respond back.

I release the clone, still slightly freaked out at looking at another copy of myself. If nothing else this will make a great distraction to get away.

‘Naruto!!’ I turn back towards the voice.

‘Iruka-sensei?’ I ask in confusion.

‘What are you doing! Stealing the scroll, do you know how much trouble you’re in!?’

‘But Mizuki-sensei said it was an alternative exam?’

‘Mizuki? But—’ He abruptly cuts off and yanks me out of the way by my collar. Kunai embed themselves into the ground where I had been standing.

‘You found him faster than I thought you would.’ Mizuki perched on a tree branch sneers down at us.

‘What are you doing!?’

‘Isn’t it obvious? I’m stealing the scroll. And well if I can get rid of the demon too well, that’s just a bonus.’

‘Demon?’ I question, my voice low and strained. It’s not the first time someone has called me that. Monster, demon. They seem to be the villager’s favorite names for me.

‘Do you want to know? Why everyone hates you?’ He smiles maliciously. I nod, finally I’ll get some answers. No one has ever told me why.

‘Mizuki no!’

‘Its because you are the Kyubii that destroyed the leaf 12 years ago!’ he accuses me, pride filling his face.

‘You’re lying, right Iruka-sensei? He’s lying right?’ I desperately plead with him, but he just looks away from me in shame.

‘Haha—this is stupid.’ I weakly laugh, rubbing at my face in frustration. That’s why I die over and over again. That’s why I’m always alone. Because someone sealed a monster in me.

‘Now give me the scroll.’ He demands ignoring my shock.

‘Naruto run! Don’t let him take it!’ It’s not much of a choice to run. I’ll probably die again by the time the night is done, but I don’t really want to actively seek it out. If I give it to him there is absolutely nothing stopping him from just killing me then and there. At least with the scroll I have some leverage. I can hear the clash of weapons behind me as I flee the area. I need to find somewhere they can’t find me. Desperately I look around, but there is no where that I can hide.

It’s too late anyways. Before I can react some one pushes me to the ground from behind. I don’t bother to struggle. Struggling always makes it worse. Instead I curl up into a ball and clench my eyes shut waiting for the incoming blows. But they never come. A warm drop of something falls on my cheek. Slowly I crack open my eye, above me is Iruka-sensei blood dripping down his mouth.

‘Are you OK Naruto?’

I can’t seem to find the words to answer him, so I just dumbly nod. _He saved me?_ That’s—an odd warm feeling fills my chest.

‘Good.’ He sighs relieved. Reaching behind his back he grunts in pain as he yanks a giant shuriken from his back.

‘Why did you save that monster!?’

‘He’s not the demon fox. He’s my student, Uzumaki Naruto!’ He tries to get up but falls back barely catching himself from falling on top of me.

‘Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter now. You’re both going to die.’ Mizuki grabs the other giant shuriken on his back.

Steeling my resolve, I shift myself out from under Iruka-sensei.

‘Oh, what’s this the little monster is going to fight.’ He mocks.

‘Naruto get away!’ Iruka begs. I shake my head, dying for me is no big deal. I’ll just wake up later. But Iruka-sensei, he won’t. He saved me. I clench my fists before raising them into a cross in front of me. He’s the only person who ever saved me. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t really care all that much about me, he noticed. Even now, he’s screaming at me to run and leave him there. He’s still trying to protect me. But if I leave, he will die. I-I don’t want that.

‘Tajuu Kagebushin no jutsu!’ The entire clearing fills with clones of me. The look of pure shock on Mizuki’s face is almost worth it. Without giving him even a moment to recover they all charge at him. It doesn’t take long for him to go down. No matter how skilled he is, there is only so much you can do against such over whelming numbers. One of the clones ties him up in ninja wire so he can’t escape and then they all dispel. I stagger when a wave of vertigo comes over me as their memories integrate back into mine. That’s useful, I’ll have to remember to dismiss them in small groups next time though.

‘Naruto.’ I turn back to him, his face in awe. ‘Come here.’

I walk over to where he’s managed to prop him self up against the base of a tree and kneel down.

‘Close your eyes.’ He smiles kindly at me, and I do as he asks. I can hear the rumple of cloth and then a light touch at my forehead, I instinctively flinch back at the touch.

‘I won’t hurt you, just stay still.’

Willing myself to stay still something is tied around my forehead.

‘You can open your eyes now.’ Iruka-sensei’s not wearing his haite anymore I tentatively reach up. He gave me his.

‘Congratulations Naruto.’ He smiles at me with pride. ‘On becoming a shinobi of Konoha.’

Tears start to well up in my eyes.

‘Thank you.’ And for the first time in I don’t know how long, I actually meant it.


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi

Observing the brats that have been assigned to me is turning out to be an exercise in patience. Sakura constantly trying to throw herself on the Uchiha, who looks like he’s one step away from committing murder. And then there’s Naruto who is quietly watching the two from the other side of the room. Seeing him this quiet is more than slightly disturbing, he used to be loud and obnoxious, but it seems that over the years, the village has crushed him under their resentment. I try to ignore the guilt that rises up, but I can’t. Because I should have been there for him. If I had, would he still be that happy go lucky child? It’s too late to think of what ifs now though. That child is long dead and buried.

Deciding that they’ve waited long enough, I drop down from the hiding place in the ceiling and open the door to the class. Their attention snaps to me. Well, Naruto’s does. The other two are slower in reacting to my entrance. I more or less expected that.

‘My first impression of you…’ I smile at them ‘You’re boring. Meet me up on the roof in 5.’

I shunshin away to the roof, a few minutes later Naruto cautiously pulls himself up the wall, and sits a fair distance away from me, clearly uncomfortable being alone with me. It’s interesting though. Instead of the stairs he decided to climb up the side of the building. Not long after Sasuke followed by Sakura slams open the door to the roof panting. Sasuke narrows his eyes in irritation when he sees that Naruto got there before him but doesn’t say anything.

Sakura has no such restraint.

‘How’d an idiot like you get here before us!’ Naruto carefully doesn’t react to the insult.

‘Ma, that’s not very nice, he climbed up the side of the building.’

‘That’s cheating!’

‘I only said to meet me on the roof. I never said how. It’s your fault for thinking there is only one way to get here.’ Oh, she’s going to be a joy I can just tell. Because even though they haven’t passed the bell test, I have no choice but to pass them due to the pressure from the council and Hokage.

Still fuming she sits next to Sasuke. 

‘Now that we are all here, how about we introduce ourselves.’

‘Can you show us how?’ Sakura asks.

‘My name is Hatake Kakashi I like somethings, I dislike others. My dream hm~. I have hobbies.’

‘All he told us was his name?’ Sakura mutters in disbelief.

‘Your turn pinkie.’

‘My name is Haruno Sakura I like…’ She glances at Sasuke, ‘My dream is to…’ She glances at him again and squeals.

‘And your dislikes?’

‘Ino-pig and Naruto-baka.’ She screeches and I catch Naruto trying to subtlety move further away from her.

‘Right… what about you broody.’

‘Uchiha Sasuke. I don’t like anything, and I dislike a lot of things. My ambition is to kill a certain man.’

And it’s just getting more fun by the second.

‘And you?’

‘Uzumaki Naruto.’ He makes no indication that he’s going to give up anything else. I sigh, the village really did a number on him.

‘Ok then.’ I clap my hands. ‘Tomorrow morning meet me at 7 at training ground 7. We will be having a survival exercise. I’d recommend you don’t eat unless you want to puke.’

I leap to a tree and watch them. Sasuke immediately leaves the roof without even a glance at his teammates, and Sakura follows after him like a lovesick puppy. Naruto’s eyes don’t leave them until the door shuts behind them. The tension in his shoulders falls away now that’s he’s alone. He tiredly rubs the front of his neck. Strange habit, I’ve caught him doing it a couple times while they were waiting. He spends a few moments there seemingly to collect himself before making his way across the roofs towards his apartment.

This team is just a mess. A rabid fangirl, a arrogant avenger and a jinchuriki with severe trust issues. What am I going to do with them?

The next morning, I hide in the clearing. Surprisingly, I’m not the first one there. Naruto is. And it looks like he’s been here a while. He’s idly rubbing at his neck again, and his eyes… just look so defeated. He barely acknowledges when his teammates arrive shortly before 7, oh he’s aware of them though, even if he’s not actively watching them.

They continue on the way they did yesterday. Sakura and Sasuke getting increasingly frustrated as time goes by, and Naruto hardly reacting at all. By the time 10am rolls around they are looking rather irritable from hungry. But not Naruto. I can’t tell if it’s because he ate breakfast, or if he’s just used to going hungry. Looking at how that god-awful jumpsuit just hangs off of him, it’s probably the second. Just another thing to add to the list of things to fix.

I Shunshin down in front of them, Naruto startles back and tries to make himself look smaller.

‘You’re late!’ Sakura yells at me.

‘Hm. Sorry I got lost on the road of life.’ Ah she looks so confused. I remove the timer from my pouch and set for noon.

‘Today your task is to get these bells.’ I hold up the two bells.

‘But Sensei, there’s only two.’

‘I know. The person that doesn’t get a bell, will go back to the academy.’ The looks of shock on their faces are the best. ‘So, if you want to become a ninja, you better come at me with the intent to kill.’

Naruto is already shifting back from the group with a hard to read expression.

‘Your time starts now.’ I hit the timer. They all disappear into the bushes and trees. Sakura and Sasuke are pretty easy, but Naruto takes me a moment to find. He has suppressed his presence to almost nothing. Which while impressive, is also not unexpected with how hard it was to keep track of him when he was younger, even when he was wearing a neon orange jumpsuit.

Now, I think pulling out my book, who will crack first. There’s no way they’ll work together on their own, Sasuke’s too prideful, Sakura too blinded by her obsession, and Naruto doesn’t trust any of them to watch his back.

Sasuke shifts from his position in the tree to better angle himself before he launces himself at me. I grab his ankle and toss him away. He skids back but immediately comes at me again. I casually block and dodge him while reading and it just further frustrates him.

‘Take this seriously!’

‘Make me.’ He flips through a series on hand signs and his chest expands.

‘Katon Gyoukaku no jutsu!’ A fire ball launches straight towards me, I escape underground before it can hit. I can hear him moving around above me trying to locate where I am.

‘Below you.’ I cheerfully tell him at the same time I grab his ankle and drag him into the dirt.

‘Wa~ I didn’t expect that. But well.’ I shrug mockingly at him. ‘It was pretty easy to counter.’

He glares at me like I just killed his dog. Maybe if I beat him down enough, he’ll realize that the world doesn’t revolve around him. I doubt it though. Now, to find the others. Naruto seems to have taken advantage of Sasuke’s outburst to move, I can’t seem to find him at all. Sakura though… is still exactly where she was. Probably trying to watch Sasuke in action. I make my way behind her and tap her shoulder. Mechanically she turns to face me. I wave before putting her in a low level genjutsu. Only to have her shriek her head off right in my ear before fainting.

Note to self. Only do that from a distance.

_Now_, I pull myself up, _to find my 3rd wayward student_. But no matter how hard I look; I can’t find him. Sasuke tried to ambush me again after he freed himself only to find himself buried neck down in a hole again. The look of murderous rage on his face is something I will cherish always. But even when the alarm goes off, there’s no sign of Naruto.

Sasuke and Sakura meet back at the starting point.

‘Where’s the idiot.’ Sasuke scowls.

‘Naruto? Its over.’ At first there’s nothing, then a slight rustle as he crawls out from a hole in the root system of a tree. He was able to shove himself in there? He’s smaller than I thought he was.

He takes up what’s becoming his normal spot, a distance away from the group.

‘Your stealth is rather impressive. I couldn’t find you.’ He adverts his eyes. ‘But you didn’t even try to get the bell. Why?’

‘No point.’ He shrugs. Oh, did he figure it out?

‘Explain.’

‘Teamwork. You’re too strong, and they won’t work with me. So, no point.’

‘That’s correct.’ The other two just gape at him. ‘You knew there was no way you would ever be able to beat me on your own. You also knew your teammates well enough to know there was no hope in getting them to work together. So, you went with what you thought was the most logical next option. You hid until the perceived threat passed. Is that right?’

He tentatively nods. The boy’s survival instincts are good if nothing else.

‘Strategically, there’s nothing wrong with what you did. That is if you were alone. However, you abandoned your comrades, though those who break the rules are trash, those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. Do you understand?’

He nods but with the confusion in his face, I can tell he doesn’t. It’s like he’s trying to wrap his head around a foreign concept. To him it probably is. How many times has he been betrayed? Mizuki was likely just the latest in a long line of betrayals and abandonments.

‘And you two, so caught up in yourselves that you didn’t even try to think about the meaning of this test. I should fail all of you.’

Sasuke loses his temper and charges at me, but I easily pin him to the ground. In the chaos I almost miss the narrowing of Naruto’s eyes, he’s noticed something off in this situation.

‘But, seeing as Naruto figured it out, I guess I’ll pass him.’ I turn to him. ‘Now choose who else should pass.’

‘Sasuke should.’ Sakura immediately says.

‘Well?’ I prompt Naruto, Sasuke suspiciously silent beneath me.

‘I’ll go.’ He says. Without hesitation. He certainly grew up in an interesting way.

‘And what about you Sasuke. The others are willing to give up their spot.’

‘Hn.’

‘Words Sasuke. I need words.’

‘I’ll go.’ He spits out.

‘I see. Well then. You all… Pass!’ I let go of Sasuke and he shakes me off like the petulant preteen he is.

Sakura lets out a sigh of relief. ‘We passed Sasuke-kun!’ Sasuke of course makes doesn’t acknowledge her.

‘Meet me here at the same time tomorrow.’

‘This doesn’t change anything dobe.’ Clearly still irritated that Naruto saw through the test when he didn’t. He stalks off with Sakura following after, so he doesn’t see Naruto looking at him like he’s an idiot. This kid is my favorite.

‘Did you have something to say?’

‘Jiji made you pass us.’ He tells me with complete confidence.

‘He did,’ There’s no point in denying it since he already figured it out. ‘Since when did you know?’

‘Before the Academy.’

‘That’s a long time.’ He just shrugs. He clearly is more observant than people give him credit for. I have to wonder how much of himself he’s hidden away.

‘Was there something else?’ He considers for a moment before shaking his head. Not very talkative, he used to be. ‘Then you should get going, I need to report to the Hokage.’

He nods and leaves.

A talk with the Hokage seems like its long overdue. 


	3. Chapter 3

Kakashi

‘Team 6’

‘Fail’

‘Team 7’

‘Pass’. The other jonin turn and look at me with clear disbelief written across their faces. ‘What?’

The Hokage just shakes his head in exasperation and continues.

‘Team 8’

‘Pass’

‘Team 9 is still in circulation. Team 10.’

‘Pass’

‘That’s all the teams.’

‘Then you’re all dismissed.’

The others shunshin out of the room.

‘You had something you wanted to discuss Kakashi?’

‘What exactly happened to Naruto?’ I get straight to the point.

‘I’m not sure.’ He sighs leaning back, looking so much older. ‘It started shortly before the Academy. He began to distance himself from others, smiling and talking less. I had hoped that he would come to me. But…

‘He never did.’

‘No.’ He shakes his head. ‘Whatever happened when he was 8 shattered the trust he had in people.’

‘And now he trusts no one. He also knew that I was being forced to pass them.’

‘Did he?’ He doesn’t sound particularly surprised.

‘Said he knew since before he started the academy.’

‘He wasn’t exactly excited to go. I had to persuade him to go in the first place and watch him carefully to keep him there.’ He shakes his head. ‘He notices more than we think he does.’

‘He doesn’t actually want to be a shinobi, does he.’ He didn’t seem put out at all when I told them someone would be going back to the academy. It almost looked like he wanted to.

‘No. I highly doubt it.’ He tiredly confirms.

‘But its not like he can’t not be one, with his position. Could that be what started this?’

‘It definitely played a role, but it had begun before I even mentioned the academy to him.’

‘So, all I have to work with is a kid housing a murderous fox demon with severe trust issues and teammates that hate him.’

‘You’ve got your work caught out for you.’ He winces.

‘Yeah’ I sigh. Turning towards the door ‘Let Iruka know I’m looking for him. He might have some insight.’

‘Kakashi.’ I glance back, the stern Hokage replaced by an old man who’s had to make too many hard decisions and regrets the outcome too many of them. ‘Please help him.’

‘I’ll do what I can.’ I pull the door shut behind me. First things first, I need to gain some data.

* * *

Finding the boy is about as hard as I’d thought it be. It doesn’t look like he even bothered to go back to his apartment, instead hiding deep within the forests of the training grounds. He idly pokes the fire with a stick. Though with the glares and whispers that follow him around like the plague I can’t say I blame him for not wanting to go back.

I content myself with watching him. He tends the fire blankly staring at it for awhile before a clone comes back with a couple of fishes. He roasts and eats them with little fanfare. Based on the familiarity he’s doing this with, he’s been doing this for a while. After eating he begins to train. His taijutsu is a bit sloppy, but I’ll at least give him points for using his clones to spar against and leaving one to observe to pick out any flaws. Which means, he figured out the memory transfer. The observing clone would poof every few minutes to be replaced with another, as time goes by the gaps start to close and his movements become smoother. It’s not perfect, but he’s improved in the last few hours. He dispels the remaining clones and takes a break.

The bushes rustle and I can feel as his muscles tense in preparation to run. Two chuunin emerge from the bush, they give Naruto a malicious smirk when the spot him.

‘Oh look who it is.’

‘What are you doing all the way out here, huh?’ Clearly up to no good they advance on Naruto with the intention to do him harm clear as day. When one makes a movement towards his kunai holster it’s time for me to intervene.

‘I’ve been looking for you Naruto.’ All three heads snap towards me as I drop down from the tree. ‘Come on. Let’s go.’ Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth he hastily puts out the fire with a pail of water and scrambles to follow after me from what he considers a safe distance.

I take a glance back at the chuunin who have a mixed look of terrified and irritated and let out a concentrated amount of killer intent at them. The color leaches out of their faces. ‘Thanks for taking care of my student.’ They pale further at my words, clearly, they’ve heard some of my rumors. Hopefully this will offer him some protection. Shinobi are awful gossips after all.

I give a sideways glance to the boy timidly walking slightly behind me. His eyes trained on the ground, rubbing at his neck again. I narrow my eyes at the gesture. I’m liking it less and less each time I see it.

‘Do you like that jumpsuit?’ He jumps at the question and shakes his head. The relief that I didn’t ask what happened clear on his face. ‘Thought so. Let’s replace it then.’

‘I don’t have the money.’ He quietly admits.

‘Then I’ll buy it. It’s a liability to the team.’ Which was probably the entire reason someone sold it to him. To get him killed in the field.

‘But…’

‘You can just pay me back.’ He silently ponders that for a moment and nods his agreement. ‘Great!’ I grab his wrist before he can react, and he immediately tries to pull away from me. Before he manages to get free I shunshin us to the top of a building in the center of the village. I let go as soon as we land. He pulls his arm towards his body openly shaken at being grabbed.

‘It’s this way.’ I gesture down the street. I start to walk away from him. ‘You coming?’ He gives me a wary nod before walking after me at a further distance than before. Using the roof tops, we manage to avoid the civilians and the few shinobi that pass pay us little mind. But he does edge a little closer to me every time one does. At least he trusts me more than them.

The store is thankfully empty when we enter.

‘Do you know what you’re looking for?’ He shakes his head. ’Take a look around then. I’ll pick out some basics.’

I leave him to it picking up a few standard issue tops and bottoms and a new pair of shoes. When I look back, he looking right at a simple black overcoat with dark orange details going down the front and bottom. It even comes complete with a hood.

‘Good choice.’ He flinches, I really need to break him of that habit. It’s just painful to watch. I hope that he picked up some of the natural talent the Uzumaki’s had in sensing from Kushina. He might be more comfortable if he could tell where people are. I pick it up and add it to my pile. ‘Let me see your kunai and shuriken.’

He hesitates but ultimately hands me one of each. They’re a bit worn, but still useable.

‘They’re in decent shape, I’ll show you how to maintain them later.’

‘Jiji gave them to me.’ He puts them back in their holsters. Which explains why they are good quality. But there’s something in his expression that says that’s not the complete truth.

‘Let’s go pay for this then.’ He shuffles and crinkles his brow in discomfort. ‘Would you rather wait here?’ He nods. I quickly pay for everything, not wanting something to ruin the small amount of progress I’ve made. Luckily, Naruto is standing unmolested exactly where I left him.

‘I’m hungry. How about we grab dinner.’

‘Ichiraku?’ He questions with the most excited expression I’ve seen on him.

‘Sure, why not.’ If he’s suggesting it, it must be a safe place for him. I’m proven correct when the owner and his daughter warmly welcome him. There’s even a slight smile on his face.

‘Your regular Naruto?’

‘Please.’

‘And for you?’

‘I’ll have the same.’

‘You had team placements, yesterday right? This is your sensei?’

‘Yes. Kakashi sensei’

‘Who else is on your team?’ He asks, not put off by the minimal answers.

‘Sasuke and Sakura.’ Naruto pulls a face like he had a foul taste in his mouth as he says their names.

‘Tough break.’

‘We’re celebrating them passing the team exercise.’ I cut into the conversation. ‘The other two…’ I shrug. ‘Had other obligations.’

The owner lets out a snort. Catching my obvious sarcasm. ‘That’s one way to put it.’

He places a steaming hot bowl in front of each of us.

‘Well, take this as my congratulations, this bowl is on the house.’

‘Thanks!’ Naruto beams, wasting no time in digging in. That’s how he should be, carefree and happy.

‘It’s not going to run away from you. Slow down.’ He just looks at me like I’m crazy and goes back to shoveling it into his mouth.

The owner chuckles fondly at the scene. It’s not long until the bowl is empty, Naruto leaning back slightly with a content look on his face.

‘It’s starting to get late.’ The owner says. ‘You should start heading home.’

Naruto nods his agreement and gathers up his new clothes. He pauses just before the side of the building.

'Thank you.’ And quickly runs off. I watch him until I can no longer see him and create a clone to follow him.

‘To make sure he gets home alright.’ I respond when I see the owner raise an eyebrow at me.

'You have questions? Otherwise you would have just followed him yourself.’

‘You caught me.’ I shrug. ‘What can you tell me about him.’

‘Sweet kid caught in a horrible position. When I met him, he was probably 7ish, maybe younger it’s always hard to tell with how small he is. It was raining late at night. He was very skittish, it looked like someone had recently taken a swing at him, as he had the remnants of a black eye. I fed him. He didn’t speak to me, but he kept coming back after that. I figured that if nothing else I could give him a warm meal. It seems that’s more than anyone ever did.’

‘This whole thing is just a mess.’ I run my hand through my hair.

‘Well he’s at least started to warm up to you. It took forever to get him to trust us even a little.’

‘Small mercies, I guess.’


	4. Chapter 4

Kakashi

He was already there when I arrived in the clearing. Dressed in his new clothes and dozing against the base of a tree. An hour early, not that I was going to meet them on time. Way more entertaining to watch them get all irritated. And they still haven’t discovered the joys of D-ranks. Sasuke’s face is going to get that constipated look the Uchiha get when forced to do something they think below them. Sakura will likely complain insistently. It will be glorious.

I’m not sure how Naruto will react though, he always is a bit of a wild card. Intentionally making noise as I enter the clearing; he jerks awake at the first sign that someone else was there.

‘Morning. How long have you been here?’ He holds up 5 fingers. ‘Since 5?’ So, he left his apartment when there would be the fewest amount of people on the streets. Because, who would willingly be awake that early.

‘Would you like to learn hand signs?’ It would be easier to communicate with him that way rather than try to guess from his body language and the rare words he speaks. He seems to speak only when he doesn’t have any other choice, hopefully with this he’ll open up a bit more.

At his agreement I begin to teach him the basics. He picks it up fairly quickly. Which means he was either sabotaged at the academy, or intentionally hid it. Or it’s mixture of both reasons. When I catch Sasuke’s chakra signature approaching us I wrap up the lesson.

‘Your teammates are on their way, so let’s end here. Have a clone hide and watch todays training.’

‘_Ok’ _He signs. The clone goes off into the trees, where it’ll be hard to spot. I retreat into my own tree just before Sasuke makes it to the clearing. They make eye contact for just a second before Sasuke scowls and looks away. He takes a seat on the other side of the clearing, and Naruto goes back to practicing hand signs. Wow isn’t he petty. Sakura follows shortly afterwards, paying Naruto absolutely no attention she immediately fawns over Sasuke.

And so begins the wait. The gloomy aura around Sasuke gets thicker as time wears on, Sakura seems content to just be in Sasuke’s presence, and Naruto appears completely focused on the hand signs I showed him earlier.

‘Yo.’ Two hours after we were supposed to meet, I show up.

‘YOU’RE LATE’ Sakura screams

‘Ma, a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way around.’ Three looks of disbelief greet me.

‘Now,’ I clap my hands. ‘Since Sasuke was the only one who actually attacked me yesterday, I’ll assess the other two today.’

I move a bit away from them. ‘Sakura, you first.’

‘Hai!’ She takes her stance, just from that I can tell she isn’t anything special. Moving faster than she can react I get behind her and push her lightly. She stumbles and falls.

‘Your stance is off balance. Again.’ She pulls herself up, face flushed in embarrassment. She takes a wide swing at me that I easily dodge by bending back slightly. She overextends and it’s left her off balance, aiming a low sweep at her knee, her stance crumples and she falls.

‘Again.’ Now she’s getting angry. Not even bothering to get back into her stance she lunges and tries to punch me in the face. I catch her fist and stop her dead in her tracts.

‘You’re supposed to be the top Kunoichi?’ A flash of hurt, before a quick yank throws her on the ground again. This time she stays there. If that’s all it takes, she’s not going to last long as a shinobi. ‘Well I’ve seen all I need from you. Naruto, You’re up.’

Out of breath, Sakura retreats and Naruto takes her place. He doesn’t take up a stance and just launches himself towards me with reckless abandon. He jumps and throws out a kick aimed at my temple. I catch his ankle, but he seems to have been ready for that. He drops his weight backwards his other leg using the generated force to try and catch my chin and knock me out. Letting go of his ankle, he falls just enough that I can back out of his range.

He catches himself and springs back up in one fluid movement, then he’s charging straight at me again. Two clone pops into existence beside him, splitting off from the original who continues his charge. A pincer attack, huh. A kunai from the right three shuriken coming from the left and behind me and a kick aimed right at my chest.

Good effort, but he forgot to cover the sky and ground. Leaping straight up, the shuriken take out the two clones. But the kunai lodges itself in the original Naruto’s raised arm. Seems he wasn’t able to dodge in time but could at least react in time to mitigate the damage.

‘You alright?’ I ask as I land be side him. He nods and yanks the thing out of his arm before I can react. Doesn’t even flinch, just a small frown and furrowing of his eyebrows. 

‘Let me see it.’ He brings the injured arm into his chest, teeth bared in a snarl, glaring at me like a wounded animal. I raise my arms in surrender. ‘Either I look at it here or I drag you to the hospital.’

He immediately thrust out the arm at the threat of the hospital, not taking his eyes off of me as I push up his sleeve and examine it. _It’s already healing, at this rate it’ll be completely healed within the hour. _I glance up to Naruto, his eyes daring me to do something. Slowly I reach back to grab a role of bandages from my pouch and wrap his arm.

‘It’s luckily not deep. This should be enough, just be sure to keep it clean.’ He forces the sleeve down as soon as I’m done and backs away. Well, he didn’t make a break for it.

‘Now who’s ready for their first mission?’ They all perk up at that, turning excited eyes to me.

Their first mission went well… if by that you mean it was a complete shit show. They were supposed to paint a fence. Simple right? Nothing should have gone wrong. Nothing _would have_ gone wrong if it wasn’t for Naruto. Not that the poor kid actually did anything, just his presence was enough to get the client all up in arms. He nearly refused to let us do the mission, until I threatened that no one else would take it.

He then proceeded to make Naruto as miserable as possible. Dumping cans of paint on him, casual insults, distracting his teammates from helping him, forgetting to bring him something to drink when he brought some for everyone else.

To his credit, Naruto didn’t make a fuss about any of it. Merely ignoring the client entirely no matter what he did. The biggest reaction he gave was when the client dumped a can of paint on him. Naruto gave him a distinctly unimpressed look and raised an eyebrow that just screamed ‘_seriously’_ before going back to work. Disregarding the paint dripping from his hair, and only pausing to wipe his face when some dropped near his eyes.

The clients face distorted in anger when he realized he had no way to get the reaction he wanted out of Naruto. Kind of looked like a three-year-old about to throw a temper tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted.

Luckily, it wasn’t a large fence, so it didn’t take much time for them to finish. Sakura and Sasuke are walking ahead of us as we make our way back towards the Hokage tower.

‘_Can I go change?’_ Naruto asks, picking idly at one of the dried patches of paint on his hand. His teammates walk in front of us, to irritated with the mission to really pay any attention to us.

‘Wait until after we report to the Hokage.’

‘_Why’_ He asks with narrowed eyes.

‘To prove a point. This wasn’t how I imagined this mission going, but sometimes you’ve got to make the most of the situation.’ I look directly at him ‘Understand?’

‘_I think so. By showing up like this you’ll have more leeway in choosing our missions.’_

_ ‘_Correct. Hopefully, clients from outside the village will be…’

‘_Less of an asshole?’_ He suggests.

‘That’s one way to describe it.’

‘Naruto?’ The Hokage drawls.

‘Yes Jiji?’

‘Why are you covered in paint.’ They do make quite a picture. The other two are pretty much spotless, save a few patches of paint here and there. But Naruto looks like he bathed in the stuff. His normally out of control hair is matted down and caked in it, there are smears of paint all over his face from where he wiped it away, and his clothes have become stiff with dried paint.

‘It spilled.’

‘It spilled’ he repeats, waiting for Naruto to further explain. He sighs when he realizes he won’t get anything else out of the boy and turns to me. The other two watching their exchange in poorly concealed interest, not expecting the casual address or tone of the conversation. 

‘The client knocked it over.’ He raises an eyebrow at this, a.snd I nod at the unasked question.

‘I see.’ He leans back, looking tired. ‘I suppose we’ll have to be more careful next time.’ He states cryptically. ‘You’re dismissed.’

I turn to herd the genin out of the office.

‘Oh, and Kakashi?’

‘Yes?’

‘You’re late on your report. I expect it to be on my desk by tonight.’ He gives me a meaningful look.

‘Understood.’

‘How do_ you_ know the Hokage?’ Sakura asks as soon as the door is shut.

‘He’s my Jiji. He checks in on me occasionally.’

‘What,’ Sasuke scoffs, ‘to make sure you don’t get yourself killed?’

‘Pretty much.’ Naruto concedes with a shrug. The other two startle at his easy admission, but Naruto just continues forward either not noticing or ignoring the change.

‘Why.’ Sasuke demands, eyes narrowed, trying to figure out the puzzle his teammate presents him. Naruto tilts his head slightly considering his answer.

‘Guilt’ He finally decides on.

‘I don’t understand, why would he feel guilty?’ Sakura creases her eyebrows in confusion.

A dark expression comes over Naruto’s face as he clenches the fabric over his stomach where the seal is in a death grip. Anger and frustration circle in his eyes.

‘That’s not for you to stick your nose in Sakura.’ I give her a meaningful look.

‘Right, Sorry.’ She apologizes, giving not so subtle glances over to Naruto, who is still trying to reign himself in.

‘Naruto.’ He startles and his eyes dart up to meet mine. ‘Why don’t you go home and change, we are done for today. We’ll meet at the same time tomorrow.’

He nods, seemingly using up his quota of words for the day and leaves through the nearest window.

‘As for you two. I wouldn’t pry into Naruto’s life.’ I give them a pointed look.

Sasuke scowls at me.

‘Of course, you don’t have to listen to my advice, just know that no one will be able to save you if you go to far.’

‘What’s so special about that idiot?’

‘Nothing much.’ I shrug. ‘Or at least nothing you need to worry about. I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t be late~.’

I smirk as I catch the rage on both of their faces as I shunshin away.

I slip in the window to the Hokage’s office just as the sun starts to set.

‘Ah, Kakashi. I’ve been waiting for you.’ He looks up from the paper he had been reading. ‘How has it been going?’

‘It’s only been one day.’

‘Perhaps, but I’m sure you’ve been able to pick up on somethings.’

‘Well taking missions from inside the village is a bad idea.’

‘Yes.’ He winces. ‘I’ll be sure that you only get missions from outside the village from now on.’

‘Thank you.’

‘What else?’

‘Sakura and Sasuke are more or less as I expected. They do not respect Naruto at all, but I think he managed to spark their interest this afternoon. Where that will go, I’m not sure, but I’ll keep you informed.’

‘And what of Naruto?’

‘He doesn’t seem to speak much; I began to teach him hand signs this morning. I’m hoping it will help with his communication. He also has a rather surprising pain tolerance. He took a kunai to the forearm today. Hokage-sama, he didn’t _even_ _flinch_ when he pulled it out.’

‘That’s worrying.’ He frowns obviously seeing the implications. ‘Do you think the villages have hurt him before?’

‘I’m sure of it. Though I doubt we’ll find any evidence of it, that wound from earlier, it’s likely already healed by now.’

He tiredly rubs his face, the regret set deep in his face. ‘We have truly failed that boy.’

I look at Minato-sensei’s photo, his face seeming to be portraying his disappointment. How he manages to do that in a picture I don’t know, but he always did have an uncanny ability to guilt people.

‘Minato-sensei would be turning in his grave if he was here.’ I comment.

He follows my gaze to the pictures of the previous kage. ‘I’m sure he’s not the only one.’


	5. Chapter 5

Kakashi

The tension within the group builds from day to day. They’re getting restless; all these D-ranks are starting to drive them crazy. Luckily, after that first disaster of a mission the rest have gone fairly smoothly. Thankfully, it seems the prejudice hasn’t reached outside the village.

Sasuke and Sakura have also decided to ignore my advice, and stalk Naruto around the village. Rather poorly at that. Naruto always knows they are there and leads them away from places with a lot of people, trying to prevent them from noticing how the villagers treat him. He has been able to effectively lead them around in circles and not give up any important information up till now.

Though it seems that patience is wearing thin on both sides. Sasuke and Sakura have gotten more hostile as Naruto avoids them, and Naruto has gotten more twitchy than usual. Constantly looking over his shoulder, because even though he knows who is following him, his instincts keep warning him about the danger. It was only a matter of time before one of them snapped.

So, after capturing Tora for the umpteenth time I’m not in the least bit surprised when Sakura throws a temper tantrum.

“NO! No more! Give us a better mission! We’re tired of doing silly chores.”

“Sakura!” Iruka scolds. “You are new genin, you are not ready for bigger missions.”

“What do you think Kakashi?” The Hokage asks. I glance at the three genin staring at me with varying levels of hope and excitement.

“Ma~ I suppose they could handle a slightly harder mission.”

“I see. Then I believe I have a C-rank that would be suitable.”

“Hokage-sama! You can’t be serious!” Iruka yells over Sakura’s excitement.

“Now Iruka, they should be able to handle it.” He gives Iruka a look saying that he won’t reconsider.

“Yes.” He mumbles, reluctantly backs off.

“Please send in Tazuna-san.” A short stocky man is brought into the office, he smells strongly of booze. I catch Naruto grimace at the smell. Well, we’ll be hard pressed to lose the man if he smells like that.

“You’re the ones that’s escorting me?” He stares at my students with skepticism through his drunken haze, pausing his gaze on Naruto. “The shrimp doesn’t look he can even protect himself.”

Naruto blankly stares back at the man with no emotion on his face,as usual refusing to react the others provocation. Unnerved by his stare, Tazuna looks away first and goes to take a swig from the liquor bottle he had brought with him, only for it to shatter in his face.

“Naruto,” I scold “You shouldn’t attack the client.”

“I hate drunks.” He states like it explains everything, disregarding the reprimand entirely. Secretly, I’m relieved he fought back. There’s at least a small part of him that wasn’t completely ground under the villager’s heel. He hasn’t been completely broken yet.

“I see.” I smile and turn my attention to the still stunned client. “Don’t worry. I’m a jonin I will be able to protect you from any threats they can’t take care of.”

“Right…”

“Now then.” I turn back to my genin. “Pack for a long-term mission and meet at the gate in an hour. Dismissed.”

* * *

Naruto

I’ve already decided I hate our client; the drunks are always the worse. With the alcohol clouding their minds and lowering their inhibitions, they tend to be more…creative.

So, when Kakashi-sensei assigned positions I adamantly refused to take point. There is no way I’m letting him out of my sight. Sasuke was more than willing to do it anyways. Sakura futilely tried to make conversation for a while before she realized no one was interested in speaking to her, or at all. Kakashi-sensei has his nose buried in porn, the client is trying to drown himself in liquor and neither Sasuke nor I are exactly the most talkative. Especially when the reason is to get information out of us.

We spend several hours walking in silence when I catch a glint of light from a puddle further down the road. _That’s odd_, I narrow my eyebrows in confusion, _it hasn’t rained in weeks_. I slightly deviate from my position to catch Kakashi-sensei’s attention.

“Hm?” He quietly questions.

_‘There’s something weird about that puddle.’ _I sign. _‘I think it’s genjutsu.’’_

_‘Nice catch.’ _He responds back, not breaking his gaze from his book_, ‘Don’t give it away.’_

I nod returning to my position, careful to act like I’m clueless. Just as Kakashi-sensei is past the puddle, two missing nins appear and tear Kakashi-sensei apart with their chains. Sakura lets out an ear-piercing scream and I have to stop myself from instinctually attacking. Rushing in won’t help the situation. Sensei knew they were there. He wouldn’t have been so careless to let them get the drop on him. I have to believe he’s alright.

Sasuke takes the initiative to go after one of the enemies. I cast a quick glance over to Sakura, who’s currently frozen in fear and absolutely no help at all. So, it’s up to me to ward off the other one.

I’m forced back as the claw harshly collides with my kunai, and I quickly break off contact before he overpowers me. I’m able to keep him away from the client for a while, but he notices that Sakura’s currently indisposed state and sends the claw sailing towards her.

Frantically, I tackle her to the ground, but not before receiving a nasty gash on my arm for the effort. From the faint tingling I can guess it’s been poisoned. _Great_. That’s just what this situation needed.

“Naruto… you…” Sakura whispers, but I have no time to pay attention to her. The enemy has taken advantage of this opening to go after the client, he leaps forward claw reared back ready to deliver the fatal blow. In an act of desperation, I throw my kunai aiming for his eye. When It finds it’s purchase, the man lets out a horrible scream, clutching desperately around the kunai lodged in his eye, blood freely flowing down his face. He whirls to face me with a slightly deranged look in his intact eye I’m all too familiar with.

“_You.”_ He hisses. “_I’m going to kill you.”_

Without my permission, something vaguely resembling a laugh rips through my throat just edging on hysterical. I quickly catch myself and suppress it, but the damage is already done.

He launches the claw at me with a rage filled scream. I tense preparing myself to take it head on. I can’t dodge, it’ll hit Sakura. But before it can reach me Kakashi-sensei appears from above slamming the claw to the ground with his feet.

“Just what are you’re doing to my cute little genin?” He inquires, both nin flinching back at the palpable bloodlust he lets off.

Not giving them any chance to recover he takes them down faster than my eyes can follow. Deftly restraining them, he pulls the wire just a bit tighter than needed.

“Naruto, let me see your arm.” Knowing there’s no way I’m getting out of this I let him do as he please while I keep a keen eye on him just in case he tries something.

“It doesn’t look too deep.” He announces, shifting to prevent the others from seeing his hands. ‘_It’s poisoned, will that be a problem?’_

_‘No.’_

_‘Are you sure?’_ I slightly nod, but that doesn’t seem to make him reassured. It actually seems to make him more worried for some reason. He doesn’t argue though and goes about bandaging my arm.

“Now then.” He stares down Tazuna. “I believe you have some explaining to do.”

Somehow, with how the bridge builder trembles under Kakashi-sensei’s glare, I bet Tazuna is wishing that the other nins killed him.

Because it’s definitely kinder than what Kakashi-sensei has in mind. Though, if he did what I think he did, the damn drunk deserves everything coming to him.


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto

That damn drunk really did it. He intentionally lied about the shinobi after him so he could get a lower rank and therefore cheaper mission. And then had the gall to try and guilt us into continuing.

Not that it actually works on anyone but Sakura, and even then only partially. Kakashi-sensei’s to pissed off to care. And Sasuke somehow has got the great idea that this mission is a way to prove himself to be superior. Of course, the second he said he wanted to continue; Sakura immediately jumped on the chance to agree with him.

“What about you Naruto?” Judging the look promising retribution on Saskue’s face, refusing is more trouble than it’s worth. I agree anyways, knowing this mission is going to end horribly.

“Well I suppose that settles it. Well be continuing to the Wave.” Tazuna’s sags in relieve, that Kakashi swiftly takes pleasure in crushing. “Of course, once this mission is complete it _will_ be reassessed and assigned the appropriate rank. You will be charged for the additional payment as well as a fee for intentionally giving us incorrect information.”

“But!” He sputters “It took everything I had to get just this mission!”

“That’s not my problem. I’m sure the Hokage will work something out.” Kakashi shrugs unconcerned.

“Kakashi-sensei? Maybe…could we lower the price?” Sakura asks.

“I didn’t know your life was so cheap.” I comment, they all turn to me in shock. Whether it’s because of what I said, or that I said anything at all, I’m not sure. Regardless, their attention makes me anxiously flex my hands.

“Naruto is correct. Tazuna-san is hiring us to kill and die for him. It’s only fair that we get adequately compensated.”

Tazuna is clearly uncomfortable with our exchange, I’ve noticed most civilians are when the reality of shinobi life is thrown in their faces. They can’t understand it, so they mistakenly make it out to be a glamourous and prosperous lifestyle. And the shinobi allow them to. Because honestly, it’s better they don’t know how disgusting it is. If they did there’s no way civilians would allow their children to become shinobi.

“We’ll continue for another 2 hours then set up camp.” Kakashi’s voice cuts through my thoughts, I nearly slump I relief at the mention of stopping. While I’ve built up a tolerance to poison over the years, it’s mainly only been what civilians could get their hands on. A poison used by shinobi is an entirely different story. The one used on me seems to be a somewhat fast acting. I can already feel the unnatural lethargy kicking in.

Those 2 hours drag on in silence, thankfully no one tries to speak, I don’t think I could muster up the strength to respond. My body is getting heavier and heavier as we go, but I make a conscious effort to ensure no one notices anything is wrong. While I told Kakashi-sensei it wouldn’t be a problem, it’s become clear to me that before today is over, I’m going to die again. _How many times_ I morbidly wonder,_ will I die before this mission is over?_

Camp is set up in an efficient manner where we eat an unsatisfying meal of field rations since a fire is no longer an option. When it comes time to assign the watch schedule, I intentionally request the last watch. That way I’ll have time.

Kakashi takes the first watch, the rest of us are exhausted and take the opportunity to get some rest. I curl myself into a ball under the thin blanket. It’s getting harder to breath; it shouldn’t be long now. Maybe I’ll just fall asleep, just for a moment. God, I’m so tired. I close my eyes, and before I know it- I’m gone.

Kakashi

I’ve kept a keen eye on Naruto. Even if he insists he’ll be fine, I don’t quite believe that. While the others don’t notice anything wrong, I do. He’s managed to make himself look like he’s fine, but little things slip through. Like how he occasionally trips on the flat road, or blankly stares at something for a bit too long, his breathing is also off. He’s very good at acting, but it’s clear-Naruto is not ok.

So, I call camp early and am more than happy to let him have the last watch. He and the and others rest when I take the first watch. The others fall asleep oblivious, as Naruto’s breathing is steadily growing worse as he curls into him self face pinched in exhaustion. He takes a few especially strained breaths, and then, _stops breathing altogether._

Alarmed, I rush over and flip him on his back, looking for a pulse on his neck. Only to be filled with cold terror when there’s nothing. I’m about to start CPR when it’s like a switch is suddenly flipped. Naruto bolts upright greedily sucking in air, arms wrapped tight around himself and eye’s wild in panic.

“Naruto? Are you alright?” I ask once he’s stopped fighting for air. He whips to look at me with the most confused expression and pinches himself. Like he can’t believe I’m actually here. “Naruto?”

He nods, hands shaking too much to make any clear signs. “You stopped breathing for a few seconds, your heart did too.” I calmly explain, but he isn’t surprised by this information. It’s as if I’m telling him something he fully expected to happen. My thoughts come to a grinding halt as I realize. “You _knew.”_

He freezes at the accusation, muscles tensing like he’s about to flee, that panic in his eyes only growing. I slowly raise my hands in surrender and back off. He slightly relaxes at this, but not entirely.

“Has…has this happened before?”

He squeezes his eyes shut and holds himself tighter to try and stop the shaking.

“Can I come closer?” He frantically shakes his head, breathing way to hard and fast.

“Ok.” I sit a few feet from him and make myself as non-threating as possible. “I’ll just stay right here. I only need you to listen to me, you need to calm down. If you don’t, you’re going to start hyperventilating.”

He cracks an eye at me, I sag in relief he can still hear me.

“I want you to take a deep breath and hold it.” He struggles but manages to do as I ask. “Good, now let it go and do it again.”

It takes him a few minutes for the tremors to finally subside and his breathing is more or less under control.

“Have you calmed down?” A shaky nod. “Think you can get some rest?” A no. I didn’t think he would.

“Well then I’m going to go back to my watch. You’re welcome to join if you want.” I make a show of returning to the fallen tree limb I had been using careful not to set him off again. It’s best to back of for now. If I push him, it could be disastrous. I have no issue with playing the long game, wouldn’t want to destroy the little trust I’ve been able to build.

He surprises me 5 minutes later, settling on the other end of the limb with his blanket wrapped tightly around him. He gives a couple of glances my way, but makes no effort to communicate, obviously expecting me to initiate.

“There’s a lot to discuss, isn’t there?”

“Mn” Oh? He seems to be in a speaking mood.

“Do you know what happened?” He nods staring at the ground.

“I died.” He tells me in a small voice that’s barely audible. He says it in a way that’s so matter of fact it makes my heart clench in fury. Because people did this to him, who did nothing wrong.

“How many times.” I struggle to keep my voice even, balling my hands into fists so tightly I can feel my fingernails pierce skin.

“I don’t know.” He idly draws circles in the dirt with his shoe, pulling the blanket tighter. His other hand subconsciously rubs his throat. “A lot.”

My stomach churns as that little habit is put in a more horrifying context. Some one either strangled him or slit his throat. I’m not sure which option is worse. I force the nausea and rage down; I can’t scare him off.

“Never again.”

He tilts his head not understanding what I’m getting at.

“I won’t let it happen _ever again_.” He gives me a heartbreaking expression that he quickly hides. I politely ignore the soft cries that come from beneath the blanket. I have to restrain myself from crushing him in a hug and never letting go, he won’t take kindly to that.

Now I’m hoping there are more enemies that show up. While I’ll certainly get in trouble for beating up the villagers, enemy shinobi are free game. A sinister smile appears under my mask.

Hello misplaced aggression.


	7. Chapter 7

Naruto

This doesn’t _feel_ real. When I woke up with Kakashi-sensei hovering over me with a frantic look on his face, I almost thought I was dreaming. But, panic takes over when it turns out this is all too real.

Kakashi-sensei figured it out. He found out so easily it’s not even funny. After years of no one noticing, he finds out the first time I die in front of him. And now that he knows, everything is spinning out of control. Because for all I wished someone noticed, now that someone has, I have no idea what to do now that someone does.

Besides freak out of course.

I keep trying to remind myself that Kakashi-sensei has done nothing but try to help me since we met. That he’s never tried to hurt me. But that cynical voice at the back of my mind keeps telling me to be wary. He could make use of me not being able to die. And if this ever got back to the villagers, they would be inspired to try _harder_ to get rid of me. I can’t let that happen. I can’t. It’s already bad enough. I couldn’t stand it if it got _worse_.

After coming back to my senses, I contemplate my next move. He will have questions. It’s inevitable. Do I lie or… 

I strengthen my resolve and head to join him on his watch. _Just this once_. I promise myself. _Just this once I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt._ He asks his questions in a low tone of voice and I force out a truthful answer. It’s no more than a few words on my part. But he doesn’t push, doesn’t fish for information. Just takes it in and makes me a promise I know he won’t be able to keep.

“I won’t let it happen ever again.”

I wish I could believe those words. I really, _really_ do. He tells me that with such heartfelt determination, that I almost could. For the first time someone was there, who worried if I was alright and offered his silent support. The rush of varying bittersweet emotions overtakes me, tears pooling in my eyes for the first time in years. I burry my face in my arms to muffle the sound.

But that kind of hope is dangerous, it could completely break me, _has_ broken me once. So, I won’t. I won’t believe it. I’ll ignore that part of me that desperately wishes he can keep his promise. Lock it up so tightly that nothing leaks through. Because that’s not how the world works for me.

And I don’t think I’d be able to put myself back together again.

I hold myself tighter, sinking down to the ground to lean back against the fallen log. Half torn between laughing at the absurdity and straight out bawling. Instead I choke back the sobs that threaten to force their way out. Resulting in a barely audible sound.

It’s a shame I’m horrible at lying to myself.

At some point during the night I must have fallen asleep, which is odd, since I usually can’t right after I die. It’s weird, I’m not even that much of a mess right now. Sure, I’m _really_ good at shoving that suffocating panic to the back of my mind to deal with when I’m alone. But, other than the baseline paranoia and anxiety, I feel better than I have in a long time.

“Naruto! Get up!” I flinch when Sakura’s shrill voice breaks through my thoughts. Looks like I’m the last one up and moving. We eat another round of rations, Kakashi-sensei keeping a discrete eye on me the entire time. That talk from yesterday isn’t over, not by a log shot, he’s just not willing to drag the others into this. Because as highly as my teammates think of themselves, they aren’t equipped to handle something like this. 

Not to mention he knows I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them.

I’m relieved when we get back on the road. This will at least buy me a little time to figure out what the _hell_ _I’m going to do_. Kakashi-sensei isn’t going to leave things as they are. No, he’s clearly already making plans.

What those plans are, is what worries me.

I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I barely notice myself throwing a kunai into the bushes on instinct. Startling a white hare out in front of us.

“What are you doing you idiot! It’s just a poor defenseless rabbit.” I tune her out with practiced ease. A _white_ rabbit, and it suddenly dawns on me. It’s the wrong climate.

“GET DOWN” Kakashi-sensei orders. We throw ourselves to the ground, Kakashi taking the client down with him. What can only really be described as a giant meat cleaver sails over our heads with a whoosh of air. It implants itself deep into a trunk of a tree. A mist shinobi silently landing on the handle.

“Protect the client.” He orders us, shifting his hitai-ate off his usually covered eye. The three of us move into formation drawing a kunai.

“Well well, Kakashi the copy ninja.”

“Zabuza. The Demon of the Mist.”

“I’m surprised a man such as yourself is toting around a bunch of brats that can’t even be considered shinobi yet.” He laughs mockingly, he lets his killing intent roll over us. The bridge builder and my teammates are paralyzed in fear, kunai shaking in their hands. But for me, it’s laughably easy to let the fear roll right off. Lot’s of people want to kill me. Lots of people have succeeded. What’s one more? “I mean just look at them, they’re shivering in their boots. It’s pathetic.”

“I won’t let you hurt them.” Kakashi declares with the same determination as last night.

“Hmn?” He gives me a scrutinizing look. “Seems I was wrong. One of your brats is the real deal. Tell me boy, how many times have you looked death in the face?”

“I forget.”

“That’s right! That’s exactly right!” He laughs. “You can’t consider yourself a shinobi until you can’t even remember how many times you’ve almost died!”

Except for me, there’s nothing _almost_ about it.

“Shut up.” Kakashi-sensei growls surging forward faster than I can see. The sword that was stuck in the tree and Kakashi’s kunai collide with a responding clang.

“Oh? Did I strike a nerve?” Mist rolls in from the lake beside us at an unnatural rate. They disengage, Zabuza landing on top of the water. He forms a hand sign.

“Hidden mist jutsu.” The already thick fog now covers everything making it difficult to even see your hand in front of your face. The only indication of the battle going on in front of us is the metallic sound of their kunai and sword engaging and disengaging. But even just that tells me just how outclassed we are. The sounds are so close together I doubt I would be able to react even if I knew it was coming.

There’s a momentary pause, before a roaring sound and a gust of wind blows away enough of the mist that I can see them again. Well, them and the giant water dragon that’s suddenly appeared.

“Suiton: Suiryudan no jutsu!” Kakashi-sensei intones as the water dragon barrels down at Zabuza. Tall waves surge across the lake and even manage to reach us.

_If I was this strong, no one would be able to touch me._

The thought surprises me. I didn’t want to be a shinobi. I was resigned to my lot in life. Even before I found out about the kyuubi I knew I’d never be able to leave Konoha. That there was something about me that was too valuable for the village to let slip through their grasp. There was also no guarantee things would be better outside the village. I’ve overheard stories about missions gone wrong. Of tyrants and human experimentation and so many more atrocities. So, while the village is hell, it’s a hell I know.

Sasuke lets out a gasp from beside me. “Why does he have that?”

“Have what?”

“The sharingan.”

And true enough, the eye Kakashi usually keeps hidden is a burning red pinwheel. The mist thickens again, and a grating bird like sound comes from the lightening gathered on Sensei’s hand.

He rushes forward across the water with blinding speed. I can’t tell what happens next, but the attack doesn’t connect. The mist shinobi suddenly drops like a bag of rocks, just as Kakashi’s attack is about to hit and doesn’t get back up.

Another mist shinobi wearing a mask drops down from the trees.

“Thank you, I’ve been trying to apprehend him for a while.”

“A mist hunter-nin?” Kakashi-sensei reaches down to check Zabuza’s pulse while keeping an eye on the other.

“Yes, it’s my duty to track down deserters and dispose of them.”

Kakashi slowly backs away from the body back towards us. Once he’s a considerable distance away, the hunter-nin shunshins down to collect it, lugging it over his shoulder.

“We have no conflict with each other, I will take and dispose of the body.” Seeing no resistance from us, he disappears.

Kakashi-sensei gives a tired sigh and pulls down his hitai-ate.

“Why do you have a sharingan?” Sasuke demands, hands clenched tight.

“That’s really not something to discuss here.” Sensei gives him a meaningful look.

“Why.” He asks through gritted teeth, intending to fight if the reason isn’t good enough.

“Because, that wasn’t a hunter-nin. And Zabuza isn’t dead.”


	8. Chapter 8

Naruto

The remainder of the journey to Tazuna’s house is spent in a tense almost oppressive silence. Tsunami, Tazuna’s daughter meets us at the door, and warmly invites us into the house. Kakashi-sensei exchanges pleasantries with her and asks where we can rest.

The room she leads us to is sparse, the only thing in it where a few futons folded up in a corner. She excuses herself and informs us dinner will be ready in about an hour.

We drop our packs in varying levels of exhaustion.

“Now then,” Kakashi-sensei starts, leaning back against the wall. “There are several things we need to discuss. To get it out of the way, yes, I have a sharingan. Your clan was well aware of it, and while they weren’t happy with it, they weren’t callous enough to go against someone’s dying wish.”

Sasuke seems somewhat mollified by this and asks, “What was that that thing Zabuza used on us?”

“Yeah, it pretty much paralyzed us.”

Kakashi thinks for a moment “I believe you’re referring to his killing intent. High level shinobi are able to…project, for a lack of a better word, their intent and ability to kill you. You’ll become more resistant to it over time.”

“Sensei?” Sakura asks, “If you knew that hunter-nin was fake, why did you let him go?”

“Why do you think I did that?” He turns the question back to us.

“It wasn’t a strategic choice.” I offer, when the other two seemed lost.

“Oh? Expand.”

“You were already tired, didn’t know how strong this shinobi was, or if there was other reinforcements nearby. On top of that, you also had to take into account how you were going to protect the client as well as us. Starting a fight would just be reckless.”

“That’s correct.” He nods in approval. “The sharingan is extremely chakra intensive because I’m not an Uchiha. If a fight were to break out, I would be at a disadvantage even if I won. Because, as you said, we don’t know how many shinobi Gato has employed. Preserving my chakra and retreating was a better choice. Besides, with this we’ve bought about a week and a half’s worth of time before Zabuza recovers. So, what should we do with this time?”

“Train?” Sasuke answers.

“Well, yes. But there’s not a lot you can learn in that amount of time.”

“We should gather information!” Sakura exclaims.

“How?” Kakashi asks, seemingly wanting us to discuss what we should do amongst ourselves.

“I could do it.” I volunteer. “If we knew where Gato’s men hung out.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrow in thought, trying to figure out how I would go about doing that.

“I’d disguise myself.”

“Wouldn’t they notice you?”

I smile at her tiredly. “No one would notice a desperate orphan in amongst other desperate orphans. I’d blend right in.”

“Why couldn’t one of us do it?” Sasuke asks with a hint of hostility. Seemingly offended I didn’t say he should do it.

“You’re too proud.” Kakashi-sensei answers. “The level of desperation Naruto’s talking about isn’t something you can fake.”

That gets some contemplative looks on the other two’s faces. Sometimes, I think Kakashi-sensei is _trying_ to make them notice something.

“Why can you…?” Sakura asks me unsurely and cuts herself of when she realizes what she’s asking. “I mean! Um…I’m sorry.” She adverts her eyes.

“Sakura.” She looks up at me and I let my face fall into the most soulless expression I can manage, it’s a little scary how easy it is. To just not care. Both Sakura and Sasuke flinch at the change, and Kakashi-sensei looks uncomfortable even though he tries to hide it. “I’ve never _not_ been desperate.”

“Well.” Kakashi-sensei breaks the uncomfortable silence that follows “Why don’t we get cleaned up before dinner. Sakura, you can use the bath first.”

“Oh! Right.” She gathers her stuff, and quickly leaves the room obviously happy to escape the awkwardness.

“Sensei, you should get some rest. We’ll keep watch.” I tell him. He must be tired after fighting Zabuza, I know I am, and I just watched.

“I’ll leave it to you two then.” He takes a seat and closes his eyes without complaint. Whether or not he’s actually sleeping is another thing altogether though.

“You’re different.” Sasuke comments out of nowhere a few minutes later “Than you were in the academy.”

“They wanted an idiot.” There’s no point in denying what he already knows. “So that’s what I gave them.”

“Why?” His brows knitted together in confusion. Utterly bewildered that I would intentionally make myself look weaker.

“Because at their core, shinobi are liars.” I let that sink in for a second. “Some of the best shinobi out there, only show what you want they want you to see.”

“So, you did it for training?”

“Not really. I guess I thought… if I could out lie the liar’s things would become more… bearable.”

“Did it work?”

“Somewhat. That happy go lucky idiot thing didn’t work. But the quiet submissive idiot was better. Not perfect, but better.”

“I still don’t get why you’d go to all this trouble.”

I sit there quietly staring at the wall, not sure if I want to answer that. “It was safer.” I finally decide on my fingertips ghosting across my throat.

“Does this have something to do with all those weird looks the villagers give you?”

I lean my head back and stare at the ceiling suppressing a sigh. I guess it was too much to ask for him to not notice that.

“Well?” 

I just give a tired nod. Sakura enters the room again, momentarily saving me from further interrogation.

“Naruto, you go next.” Kakashi-sensei tells me without opening his eyes. “I want you to think how your going to disguise yourself, inform me after dinner.”

I take the out. Pausing at the door, I look back to Sasuke who watching me intently, Sakura is watching this play out with ill-concealed curiosity.

“Fair warning.” I tell him. “Be careful with your lies. They might end up swallowing you whole.”

Kakashi

Naruto’s ah… discussion with Sasuke was actually rather revealing if you knew where to look. I knew he was downplaying his intelligence. I just didn’t realize by how much. He’s able to accurately judge what people want from him and give it to them with out any gaps in his acting. He’d be great in infiltration missions if his mental state wasn’t akin to a ticking time bomb.

_I wonder? Does he even remember who he was before he started slapping on mask after mask until he found one that fit his needs?_

The anger returns quickly. Like it always does when I think about what the villagers did to Naruto.

“Sensei?” Sakura interrupts my thoughts before they could get too dark. “Do you know what’s going on with Naruto?”

“Hmm… somewhat.” I agree vaguely

“Are you going to tell us?” Sasuke scowls.

“I can’t”

“Can’t or won’t?” Ah, my cute little genin are finally starting question what they’re told. I’m so proud.

“Can’t. If you want to know, you’ll need to earn his trust.”

“Tch.” Sasuke’s scowl deepens, and Sakura grimaces, both clear on how difficult that will be.

“How should we do that?”

“Well…” I drawl, pulling my eye into a smile “You could start by not stalking him around the village. You’re not very good at it, and it’s making Naruto nervous.”

I relish in their embarrassed reactions. But Sasuke’s is quickly replaced a grim realization.

“Naruto didn’t react at all to Zabuza’s Killing intent.”

“No. He did not.” Sakura doesn’t seem to quite understand what that means. But Sasuke does.

“He’s never left the village before this right?” He asks rhetorically. “So how did he build up a tolerance?”

“The same way as everyone else.” There’s no joy when I tell them this. No joke I can tell to make this better. Just the cold hard truth, that their teammate has come closer to death then they’ll ever come. At the hands of their own village no less.

Sakura looks almost devastated when she figures it out, and Sasuke, surprisingly, is angry. I guess he cares about Naruto more than he lets on.

“We’re a village full of liars.” I warn them mimicking the warning Naruto gave. “Be careful you don’t end up drowning by poking your head in places it doesn’t belong.”

I leave them to stew in their own thoughts. For Sakura at least, this is probably the first time she’s doubted Konoha. It certainly made me doubt it. Sasuke seems content to stew in his anger for now, but I can tell, he’s already trying to make plans. I’ll have to watch him when we return to make sure he doesn’t do anything too drastic.

_Maybe…_ I think as I watch them work through their anger, sadness and worry at their teammate’s situation. _Just maybe, there’s hope for this team yet._


	9. Chapter 9

Naruto

Coming up with a disguise is easy, it’s a role I am very familiar with play, and takes minimal effort on my part. It does mean ruining some of the only halfway decent clothing I own, but maybe I can ask Sensei to help me replace them later.The money from the mission should more than cover it.

But for now, I’m content to just relax into the first warm bath I’ve had in months. With how much work goes into heating up enough water to bathe, it’s just not worth the effort. So I’m going to savor this rare opportunity for all it’s worth. The unwanted conversations with my team slip from the forefront of my mind and I drift for a while. 

I startle at the knock on the door,not realizing I had nearly fallen asleep.

“Naruto? Are you alright in there?” Kakashi-sensei asks.

“Ah- yeah sorry!” I scramble out of the tub and hastily dry off, pulling on my clothes over still damp skin. I give one last look at the bath, before opening the door.

“I was thinking you had fallen asleep in there.” He lightly teases.

I feel the blood rush to my cheeks and look away.He huffs in amusement moving past me into the bathroom.

“Go get some rest. Dinner should be ready soon.” 

Both my teammates are deep in thought when I return to the room. They keep giving me these weird looks I can’t make out the reason for. But they leave me alone, so I don’t give it much thought. I spend the rest of the time half finalizing details, and half drifting off, only rousing when Sensei and Sasuke come back.

“Dinner’s ready!” Tsunami calls.

The atmosphere at the table is extremely awkward. But it’s not actually my fault this time. Inari, Tsunami’s son has been glaring at us the whole time. Kakashi and I ignore it easily enough, I have ample experience in doing so and I really doubt Sensei gives two shits about some civilian brat.

With all the restraint of an 8 year old, Inari finally snaps, slamming his hands down on the table so hard he nearly knocks a cup over. 

“Why are you even trying!” He screams at us. “There’s no way you can beat Gato! You're just going to die!”

Memories of the villagers force their way to the front of my thoughts. All those times they told me to die, to do the world a favor and off myself. And the bitter cold rage that always follows when I die, how it makes me just want to scream and scream and  _ scream  _ at the world, until I don’t have a voice left to scream with.

I draw a shaky breath in and focus on pulling myself back to the present. Thankfully, only Sensei has noticed me slipping into my mind, the others too distracted by the ongoing tantrum.

“ _ Okay?” _ He covertly signs. And give him a slight nod.

Now- fully back in the present, I’m just irritated.

“Shut up.” It comes out a little rougher than I wanted, causing Inari to cut off mid rant and stare at me in shocked terror.

“Naruto. Reign yourself in.” Sensei warns.

I look at the others in the room and they all have a similar terrified look. Opps. I pulled back my irritation, I hadn’t noticed I was using my killing intent.

“Sorry.” I stare at my hands in shame. “But whether we die isn’t your problem. To us this is just a job. And Gato is just a greedy asshole who's too used to power. Even if we weren’t here, he’d eventually end up pissing off the wrong person and ending up in a ditch. It’s just a matter of time.”

“While true, it’s rude to say it.”

I stand and head to the door. “Well I'm not going to sit here and listen to some brat complain about how  _ unfair _ the world is. I have better things to do than wallow in self pity. Like get the info we need so we don’t _ die _ .” The words come out scathing and intending to hurt. I hear the start of the kid crying and Sensei sighing before I slam the door shut behind me.

I angrily stalk to our room and dig through my bag to find what I need for my disguise. It leaves a dull ache in my chest that I’ll have to ruin some of my few good clothes, but better do it now while I’m still irritated. 

The plan I came up with to gather info was rather simple. The best plans usually are, once you try and bog yourself down with details, the moment something goes wrong you end up having to flounder to try and salvage it. And something will inevitably go wrong. By the time I’m done, I look only a little better than after one of my _ encounters _ . 

With mud smeared across my face, hair and clothes hiding the whiskers in particular, ripped clothing that's slightly singed and a splinted leg, I’m the picture of a distressed orphan who escaped a fire that killed the rest of my family except for the older brother who was away at the time. In the event a shinobi approaches, Kakashi posing as the brother will extract me.

“You can’t keep antagonizing the client.” I jumped at sensei’s voice, I hadn’t heard him come in. He closes the door, and leans with arms crossed against the wall. “I’m pretty sure the only times you’ve spoken to them is to tell one of them off.”

“Sorry.”

“No you're not.” He shakes his head. “You can say whatever you want about the client when you’re alone, most are real pieces of work, but keep your opinions to yourself it’ll get you in trouble otherwise. That’s not to say you should let them walk all over you either. There's a fine line that takes many a long time to find.”

“I understand.”

“Now,” he opens the door and Sakura and Sasuke nearly tumble through. “Let’s hear your plan, your disguise is good, I have some hair dye you can use, your hair is too recognizable.”

I give them a run down of what I had in mind, Sensei nodding in approval with what I came up with.

“Isn’t that too vague?” Sakura asks.

“No, this is a short term infiltration, it’s better to work with a framework. That way you can improvise as necessary. You would need more details if this was going to be long term, but even then you want to leave yourself room to move.”

“I see.” 

“Have you thought of names?”

“Sora and Takeshi. I don’t care which I am.”

“Good, nice common names. You take Sora.”

“Alright.” I shrug. 

The next morning after dying my hair a light brown, and reapplying my disguise, I sneak into the village and take a position under an open window in the alley by the bar. I blankly stare at the wall in front of me letting the idle chatter of a few people passing by. There’s no one in the bar yet, it’s way too early. So I sit there without moving for hours, not even moving when my stomach starts to become uncomfortably empty. 

It’s late afternoon when men who are clearly Gato’s minions walk into the bar like they own the place and demand liquor. I feel bad for the owner, who is rightfully terrified by them. Most of it’s just gloating, of the rather disgusting kind. I killed a lot of people, I raped so and so and they just keep going on and on like there’s some kind of prize for how many lives they can ruin. 

It’s sickening.

They don’t say anything of use for the rest of the night and stagger out completely wasted. I curl up on my side the best I can when I can no longer hear them and wait. Sensei silently appears next to me a good while later.

“Anything?”

I scrunch my face up in disgust, “Nothing of use, but just when I thought people couldn’t be any more vile, they just keep proving me wrong.”

“Well, I can’t deny that, even now I come across things that shock me with how horrible people can be to each other.” I shift uncomfortably, certain he is talking about me. “Here, ration bar.” He places it in my hand. “They taste awful, but you must be starving by now.”

“Thanks.”

“Get some sleep, I’ll keep watch until you wake up.”

The next two days are more of the same. The fourth day on my stakeout I finally get what I’m looking for.

“Did you hear?” One thug slurs, drunk off his ass “That Zabuza guy got his ass handed to him by a bunch of kids.”

“What a wuss. I don’t know why Gato-sama keeps the guy, it can’t be that hard to find a better shinobi.”

“Maybe he’s trying to get a taste of that girl he’s got with him.”

“I know I would.” 

“You talkin about that sword guy?” A third voice cuts in. “Gato-sama was pissed when he found out he lost, was sayin’ he might as well just kill ‘im off and save himself the money if he’s weak ‘nough to lose to a bunch of brats.”

“Ha! Serves the bastard right for keeping the bitch all to himself.”

“He hirin’ someone to off the guy?”

“Nah, why pay someone when you can do it for free? He’s gonna send him and the girl to attack the bridge. Those other shinobi are still in town so we’ll let’em wear each other down and BAM, we’ll swoop in an’ kill the lot of them!”

“Think we’ll be able to go a few rounds with the bitch?”

“Here’s to hoping!” One of the laughs and it delves right back into the same old gloating. I let out a sigh of relief, finally, I’ve got what I need. Tonight is the last time I’ll have to listen to them.

“Anything?”

“Yeah, finally. There’s just the two of them. Zabuza and the apprentice. The really interesting part bit is Gato isn’t planning on paying them. He's going to let us wear each other down and send his thugs to kill whoever’s left.”

“Not surprising.”

“No, but we may be able to use it.”

“We’ll see how things play out. Tomorrow, I want you to wander around the village, I’ll come find you, that way we’ll tie up loose ends.”

Early next morning as people are just starting to head to work, I do just that. Slowly hobbling along the street with my gaze firmly on the ground. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of a woman who feels… familiar. Deciding to take a risk, I intentionally stumble and fall to the ground. I pretend to struggle getting up.

“Are you alright?” The woman asks worriedly.

I flinch back at the hand she offers and nod fearfully, trying and failing once again to get up. This is the apprentice I realize. The hair and body type match, and they have the same feel to them. 

“Sora!” I hear Kakashi-sensei call running up to me. He sweeps me up in a crushing hug uncaring of how dirty I am and I have to make myself forcefully relax into it.

“Take-ni-chan?” I whisper.

“I saw the house burnt down when I came home, I thought you died in the fire.”

I clutch on to his shirt “I--I” I stutter, sounding on the verge of tears.

“Shush, it’s alright. I’m here.” He shifts to look at the apprentice. “Thank you for trying to help my brother.”

“It’s not a problem.” She assures us. “I’m Haku.”

“Takeshi. And this is Sora.” I squeak in surprise when he picks me up. 

“Put me down Nii-san!” 

He raises his eyebrow at me. “Can you even put weight on that leg?”

I blush and hide my face in his shoulder.

“That’s what I thought.”

Haku chuckles. “I’m glad you found each other again. If you’ll excuse me I have to go, my friend is sick and I’m taking care of him.”

“I hope he gets better.”

“Thank you.” 

“Wait Ne-san!” I stop her when she goes to leave. 

“Sora?” Sensei asks.

“There’s somethin’ I gotta tell her.”

“Oh?”

“Come closer.” 

She does so with an amused smile on her face, thinking she’s just humoring me. I lean in to whisper in her ear.

“You should get your friend outta here. I heard a bunch of scary men talkin’ at the bar ‘bout how they’re gonna kill that swordsman, his apprentice after they fight those other shinobi to wear them down. Things are going to get really bad soon, I don’t want you or your friend to get hurt after you tried to help me.”

When I pull back Haku isn’t smiling anymore, and is letting off a small amount of killing intent. I bury my head back into Kakashi-sensei's chest.

“Thank you for the warning.” And leaves with a sense of urgency.

“Well that was convenient. She was the apprentice?” He starts back to Tazuna’s house

“Yea. They felt the same.”

“Well done getting her attention and passing that on. You were very believable. Hopefully this means we won’t have to fight them again.”

“Maybe they’ll take care of the Gato problem too.”

“Mmm. Shinobi never were kind to people who double cross them.”

“You can put me down.” I tell him when we enter the woods. I set about freeing my bound leg and stretching it out. “It’s so stiff.” I complain.

You haven’t moved it in 4 days. I’m not surprised.” 

I walk behind him, with a slight limp that’ll disappear by the time we get back to the house. The chill from the fog sinks in as we walk, I hadn’t noticed it while Sensei was carrying me.

I run my hand over the residual warmth that's rapidly fading.

I didn't know other people could be so warm.


End file.
